Dealing with disclosure is an important consideration for all the parties affected, and each have an important stake in doing disclosure well and effectively. This is due to just how vital disclosure is for both parties to be able to start healing. The addict needs to be honest, and start moving forward with honesty and openness. And the partner needs to know what is going on, so they can begin to properly assess the hurt and begin the grieving process.
Sadly, doing this does not necessarily automatically mean doing it well, and we have seen the very real and detrimental effects of disclosure doing significant damage due to mistakes that both sides are prone to make. Addicts can easily try to do it in phases or omit things in an attempt to minimize the pain, and spouses can seek too much or the wrong information as they try to sort out what is real and just how bad it is.
Therefore, we recommend two things:
1. If possible, get a counselor who is used to dealing with these situations to assist you. Their goal is to ensure the full truth gets out, while protecting the partner from inflicting more hurt than they need to. We recognize that